Above: Where the famous geometric wonder once lay.

During the past century more than 50 ships and 20 aircraft sailed into oblivion in the area known as "The Bermuda Triangle". Exactly what happened to the ships and aircraft is not known. Most disappeared without a trace. Few distress calls and little, if any, debris signaled their disappearance.

Now, however, the unthinkable has happened. Some time last Tuesday, possibly just after lunch, The famous intangible geometric shape vanished.

The strange disappearance was first spotted by local fisherman John Davies. "One minute it was there, the next it was gone! I've never seen anything like it in all my born days, and I've seen some strange things."

But if you can't see it, how do you know it's gone? Mr. Davies has the answers.

"Oh, it's simple. Usually when you sail through, people vanish, get impregnated by aliens or possiblyspontaniously combust, like 'Old Hank' over there. Today when myself and my shipmates sailed through, nothing happened. We were shocked and stunned. After a few minutes fishing, we decided to head home early. The whole thing was just too spooky."

BFG: Giant man is only a stop-gap till real triangle found, say experts.

During the past few weeks, there have been reports flooding into paranormal websites reporting that: "Nothing Weird is Happening". This is a cause for concern for many in the UFO fraternity.

Dr. Phillip Wesley, who tells me he got his PhD for 'good reason' says that all the evidence is pointing to the involvment of the Federal Government.

"Evidence has been mounting for a while, and now it's on a sliding scale that just rises and rises, in an exponential upward motion. The New World Order are certainly involved, and those pesky black helicopters"

Dr. Wesley has to declare a personal interest in the dissapearance of the triangle, "Yes, it is true that for the past twenty years I've been searching the waters of the triangle looking for the fabled 'Island of the Wonder Women'", says Wesley, "Why are you looking at me funny, do you want some..."

Even at this early stage of the investigation, people are looking to the paranormal for an explanation to the affair, as John Davies explains.
"C'mon, it's just too weird. First it's there, then it's gone! That's just too spooky. I feel dark forces at work".
"What? the influence of Black magic, Satanism or even the Reform Party?"
"No no, I just need to go to the Can."