News: Tree attacks Pitt

Newlywed actors Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston filed a $50 million lawsuit on Wednesday, claiming their jewelry designer breached an agreement never to replicate their wedding rings. [AP 19/7/01]

In a move long expected by his bridge partners Frank P. Tree announced today that he was suing Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt for $50,000,000.

Jennifer Aniston:
Oblivious & Annoying.

The reason cited was that Ms Aniston and Mr Pitt were "always annoying" Mr Tree, 37, a lion-tamer.

"I'm fed up with them", he told this reporter. "I don't like them. I feel I'm owed reparations for the mental suffering their existence has caused me". Given the universally acknowledged irritation the pair provoke it is felt by many observers that a class action may be in the offing. The UN Office for Humanitarian Affairs has also expressed an interest.

Ms Aniston and Mr Pitt, currently in a secret location for high-velocity follicle therapy, were not available for comment.

[more stories by Fin Keegan]