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"No Clue" |
"I had no idea I was actually president," he tells friend.
Filed by A. Shanks
It has emerged today, that former United States President Bill Clinton had "no clue whatsover" that he was actually president, being convinced that it was an immense pratical joke played on him by his friends.
"I'm still trying to get used to the idea", Clinton told a press briefing this morning, "I mean to say, I was the President of the United States, I could have done anything. If only I'd realised."
Clinton's agony over the whole thing has left him bitter and dissatisfied with the democratic preocess. Having consulted the United States Constitution he was perturbed to discover that not only was he president, but cannot run for the office again.
"Can you believe this", he told the news conference, holding a copy of the contitution, "Now I can't be president, just because of a silly misunderstanding."
Clinton claims, had he known he was really the president he would have done things differently.
"I mean, you folks don't really think that the whole intern thing would have happened if I'd known the truth, do you?" he told a packed room.
This isn't the first time a US president has been confused about his former employment. Aberham Lincon famously called the president "an ass", while he himself was still in office, leading to a constitutional crisis. In 1983 Ronald Reagan called for his own impeachment, claiming aliens had thwarthed his mental processes and were gradually sucking his brains out. The current crisis may have a more plausible explanation, say some commentators
"I've has been stoned for years," Bill Clinton told a friend recently, "Completely off my nut.".