News: Don King in KO of T.U.T.

Above: Don King prepares for the fight to end all fights.

It’s a match that people are calling The Thriller in the Chiller, but there were a lot of people who were less than thrilled when boxing supremo Don King announced his latest big title match-up. Both the worlds of Physics and Boxing were left stunned in the wake of King’s news.

"The Irresistible Force is going to meet the Immovable Object, next month, at the CERN Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Geneva, Switzerland", declared a typically jubilant Mr. King last night.

"This is the Bout that the public want.", Mr. King told us this morning, "The Bout the public have been asking me for, for the last twenty years, and now, thanks to the good folks at CERN, they’re going to get it." There are sceptics however.

Above: Fight available on pay-per-view "Only in America".
"How he plans to pull this off, I just don’t know", says Oxford based Physicist John Soros, "This breaks every law I know of. If this bout actually happens, it could have huge implications for the scientific community, with the Total Unified Theory blown right out of the water."

"I have my own Unified theory", shouts King , "I see all the heavy weight belts coming together under one unified belt and of course you’ve got include the scientific weights too. That’s my vision." But isn't this all a bit loopy? John Soros certainly thinks so.

"Does he even understand what forces he's unleasing?", ponders Soros. King is unrepentant.

"Only in America can a Don King happen," explains Don. "America is the greatest country in the world. I love America. What I’ve accomplished could not have been done anywhere else. Only in America, could I get to a position where I organise the fights that I want to. I love this country."

Where he tracked down the Irresistible Force and how he talked it into a showdown with it’s old rival the Immovable Object are questions that still remain a mystery. Don King isn’t forthcoming on that score, but there is one thing you can be sure of, King is going to hype this one all the way to the particle smasher.

Frank Warren was unavailable for comment.