Readers Letters
Forgive my indignation.....do you yahoo!?
From: Office of the Chairman, Contract Awarding Committe, ECOWAS Headquarters, Lome, Republic of Togo
Dear Sir,
ACCOUNT PROVISION FOR USD20M
Forgive my indignation if this message comes to you as a surprise and if it might offend you without your prior consent and writing through this channel.
TS: Your indignation? Well, consider yourself forgiven, sir.
I am AUGUSTIN KOFFI,The Chairman, Contract Awarding Committee of the ECONOMIC COMMUNITY OF WEST AFRICAN STATES ( ECOWAS)with Headquarters in Lome, Togo.I got your information in a business directory from the Togolaise Chamber of Commerce and Industries when I was searching for a reliable,honest and trustworthy person to entrust this business with.
TS: Ah yes, our 2-panel display advertisement in the "Togolaise Chamber of Commerce and Industries Business Directory", Augustine, you have vindicated me, I fought hard for us to advertise in that esteemed tome, and you have proven me right. I find it is always read by reliable, honest and trustworthy people.
I was simply inspired and motivated to pick your contact from the many names and lists in the directory.
TS: You truly were inspired to bring this matter to our attention, after all Tomatoshoe is well known as the home of gravitas and seriousness.
After discussing my view and your profile with my colleagues,they were very much satisfied and decided to contact you immediately for this mutual business relationship.
TS: Your view? Ah yes, what a view, and my profile? I am glad it left you and your colleagues satisfied, now if only it would work on that girl in the sales dept...
We wish to transfer the sum of USD20,000,000.00 (Twenty Million United States Dollars only.)into your personal or company`s bank account.
TS: "Twenty Million United States Dollars only"? <sarcasm>Oh, is that all</sarcasm>. Anyway, I think the personal account is best. Perhaps it's for the better if we keep this between ourselves for the sake of confidentiality, of course. We wouldn't like some unscrupulous person to get hold of the company's bank details, now would we.
This fund was a residue of the over invoiced contract bills awarded by us for the supply of ammunitions,
hard/soft wares, phamaceauticals/medical items, light and heavy duty vehicles, apperals and other
administrative logistics etc for the ECOMOG in Sierria-Leone and Liberia during the Peace Keeping
Projects.
TS: Ah yes, ECOMOG. I'm glad to see they allocated funds, sorry, I mean over invoiced for such important things as ammunitions and hard/soft wares. As for apperals, well, I'm always asking the office supply place for them, but they never arrive, which leaves me in a bit of a pickle when I have to store my phamaceautical items.
This DEAL was deliberately hatched out and carefully protected with all the attendant lope holes sealed off. As the Chairman of CAC, I have the cooperation and mandate of the Financial Director and the Secretary of
the Organisation.
TS: I'm glad the attendant lope holes were sealed, they can leave such a sticky mess. I found myself in a similar position earlier today, as I was, for 5 minutes or so, also the "Chairman of CAC", luckily I located some toilet napkin apperals, and I managed to "deliberately hatch it out", as it were.
We arranged and over invoiced the contract funds supplied by different companies from
different countries during the crisis.
TS: A cunning stratagem, sir.
It was our consensus to seek the assistance of a willing foreigner to provide us with the facilities to
transfer this money out of West Africa. This is borne out of our beleif in the non-stable and sporous
political nature of this sub-region.
TS: West Africa a "sub-region"? You are too hard on yourselves. Anyway, I am indeed a willing foreigner, in the classical sense of the phrase.
The original contractors have been duely paid by the Banque Centrale Des Etats De L`Afrique De L`Ouest (Central Bank of the West African States)through our bankers-Societe Generale Banque. This balance is suspended in the escrow accounts awaiting claims by any foreign company of our choice. We intend to pay out this fund NOW as the organisation is winding up its activities since the aim of returning PEACE to the countries and the coast has been achieved.
TS: So much to take in at once. Duely paid? Did you give them swords, or something? And this "Central Bank of the West African States", whats the deal here? You said there was a war, right? Do warring countries simultaneously take part in some kind of currency union? Doesn't each country in Africa really have it's own central bank? I think you may be mistaken here, Augustine. Anyway, I am glad to see the aim of returning PEACE was successful. Still, I bet you're kicking yourself that you over invoiced on all those ammunitions, you silly goose.
Based on the laws and ethics of employment, we as civil servants working under this organisation, are not allowed to operate a foreign account. This is the more reason why we needed your assistance to provide an account that can sustain this fund for safe keeping and our future investment with your comprehensive advise,assistance and partnership in your country.
It is however agreed,as the account owner in this deal to allow you 30% of the entire sum as compensation, 65% will be held on trust for us while 5% will be used to defray any incidental charges and cost during the course of the transaction.
TS: I see, having a foreign bank account is unethical, but approaching a foreigner and offering him heaps of cash to launder money for you is ok, is it?
This transaction will be successfully concluded within 14 days if you accord us your unalloyed and due cooperation.You should provide the followings:
Your company’s name with complete address,tel and fax numbers(if available). The name of your bank,its address with tel, fax and telex numbers. The account number, the complete mailing adrress of the beneficiary with telephone and fax numbers.
Upon the receipt of this informations,the documents
and approval with the texts will be sent to you for
confirmaton and then forwarded to the organisation for
ratification and subsequent payment.
TS: Absolutely, I'm writing all the details on my invisible paper, with my magic pen. I shall have Cecil, my loyal carrier pigeon, learn the contents, fly to Togo and tell you all the informations you require. He can talk, of course. He likes to eat seed and small insects. We take all of this very seriously, you did the right thing in writing to us, can you hear the voices calling, too?
As with the case of all organised (sensitive)and conspired DEALS,we solicit for your unreserved confidentiality and utmost secret in this business. We hope to retire peacefully and lead a honourable
business life afterwards. There are no risks involved.
TS: No risks? I met a girl in a bar, that's what she said. I still have the scars. As far as confidentiality goes, I assure you these conspired DEALS will be kept strictly between you, me and thousands of readers.
My telephone number is: 00228-02-08-36.
TS: You heard the man, folks, that's his number, get dialling. We aren't in a position to take Mr. Koffi up on his offer, but I bet he'd like to hear form all of you. If calling from the United States his number is 011-228-02-08-36. We'd love to hear how you get on, be sure to tell him where you got his number
Reply ASAP. With regards.
Augustine Koffi
do you yahoo!?
TS: Do you yahoo, Augustine, do YOU yahoo?