Our resident critic, Armitage Shanks, casts his eye on a new musical release
My peace was disturbed by a loud 'Ratatatat' at the door. It was the Postman, of course, a man who is now so well trained that he knows there's no point banging on the door at any time which ends in AM, as he'll never get a reply. So it was that at 4pm I received my parcel. They'd warned me about this already; "We'llbe sending you review pieces, Shankster. Y'know, take a look at what you get sent andthen jot down a piece about it." Unfortunately all I got was the new single by the New Radicals “You get what you give”(MCA).If this crap is radical, then paint me orange, for I must be a Dutchman. But, before I go on, here’s a few words from their poxy press release: Are you actually suggesting that it is you who is going to save the world from mediocre music when your own is hyped, uninspired and retrograde. As Lloyd Grossman would say, lets look at the evidence: The vocals grate straight through your head until you want to scream, the lyrics themselves are silly bollocks and to cap it all off the music is by the numbers pap. To be honest I’ve known farts that sounded a whole lot better. New Radicals? I think I’d rather listen to some dead rapper.
I was just settling down to watch Countdown, Carol Vorderman was getting outher vowels and consonants and the afternoon was settling down nicely. We're in it, so let's acknowledge it - Pop Culture, the record biz, society as a whole ...all at a crossroads. A landscape so filled with cowardly leaders, Pamela Anderson pornos, vague dismissals of real issues. All amidst an arsenal of soulless fake punk, wannabe icons, who tug at the pant leg of mainstream. Kids still look down, only to see melody-free careerists with huge media profiles (no need to use names, use your imagination) and music so hyped yet, uninspired that said, "Icons" are household names but barely eek to platinum. Is it because the kids want to buy video games? Is it because they all fled to rap? Or is it because.... they smell a rat?
Excuse me Mr. “I have to keep my hat on all the time because I’m very cool”, But “You only get…” is the biggest pile of horseshite I’ve ever had the misfortune to listen to, heck I’m lucky my ears didn’t surgically remove themselves from my body as your dire CD spun it’s way through my player.